Scary Celebs #7 – Sarah Jessica Parker
May 25th, 2008 by sunrisepink
This woman is out of control. She’s been in “the biz” since somewhere near the early 1800s, working on popular movies such as Hocus Pocus, Mars Attacks!, and the aptly-named Failure to Launch. The advent of the television program Sex and the City catapulted her into the Hollywood stratosphere, effectively enforcing ridiculous feminine behaviors and shoe-buying compulsions on women everywhere. Ten years after the start of Sex and the City, it is safe to say that she has become the proverbial piece of gum on the bottom of our shoe.
The upcoming release of the Sex and the City motion picture brings to my attention why SJP is so scary. Her spindly yet overly-ripped frame constantly leaves me wondering what she is capable of. After witnessing firsthand the power she now wields over Everyone’s Girlfriend and even Some People’s Moms, I know she is a person to be feared.
By insisting on wearing cakey makeup and “stylish” clothing that would only be fit for teenagers, the now-43-year-old woman is a constant reminder of the American fear of aging. It’s not a fear of looking old; it’s a fear of looking desperate to recapture one’s youth. Upon entering the chain store Steve and Barry’s a few months ago, I even stumbled upon SJP’s new clothing line Bitten, which literally consists of baby tees and tank tops. I hope she does not actually wear that stuff in public!
Be afraid people, be very afraid. This woman is becoming a role model for women in their 30’s and 40’s. Do we really want moms looking and acting like this? Whatever happened to the whole ‘aging gracefully’ thing? Scary muscles. Tank tops. Heavy makeup caked on old face. Sarah Jessica Parker: just plain scary.
[...] working on popular movies such as Hocus Pocus, Mars Attacks!, and the aptly-named Failure to Launch.http://www.itwouldbescary.com/2008/05/scary-celebs-7-sarah-jessica-parker/I have acquired a large lot of New Old Stock Parkers and Sheaffers …The definitive site on the [...]
What is with the Popeye arms? Does anyone else think she looks like the Wicked Witch of the West??
wow
Does anyone remember “Square Pegs”? That’s what the real SJP looks like! She now looks like a “Stepford Wife” version of the wicked witch of the west, poor Matthew…
I think she is gorgeous. Put a photo of yourself up so that we may compare what you look next to her. I am sure that you probably don’t have the figure, or half of her looks. If you did, you would be in her place and she would be writing poor commentary instead. If you don’t believe me, then you are worse than hitler.
muscly arms are good
@ troll, wow how mature ” If you don’t believe me, then you are worse than hitler” seriously? i get where u come from about the criticism and have the poster put up a picture for comparison, and i’m behind u on that, but come on, poor choice of words. and you know it
SINCE YOU ARE SLAGGING OFF SJP WHO IS BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE SHE LOOKS AFTER HER SELF, I BET YOU ARE PRETTY UNHAPPY WITH YOUR PROBABLY OVERWEIGHT UGLY SELF.