#16…If Santa Really WAS Always Watching
Jun 20th, 2008 by sunrisepink
When I was a little kid, I always found the old Christmas tune “Santa Claus is Coming To Town” to be a bit haunting. The lyrics contain a number of vague references to some sort of Big Brother-like figure, who “sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!” The song always made me feel strangely paranoid. Was he watching me while I was in the bathroom? What about when I picked my nose?
As I got older, I realized that Santa was a load of crap invented by adults in order to instill obedience and fear in their children. But wouldn’t it be scary if Santa really was real, and he really WAS always watching? I mean, how would he do it? First of all, he’d probably have to microchip each one of us, which would happen through a special deal with all major hospitals. He would have to bribe the nurses to implant microchips in all newborn babies, in return for free train sets for their kids.
Then, he’d have to find some way to install cameras in everyone’s houses. Obviously, he could just ask the government how to do that, since they are experts at stalking people and invading their privacy. He’d also have to have a huge staff of elves in order to monitor the tapes and record our good and bad behavior. Either that or like a thousand eyes. Not to mention he’d probably also have to plant spies throughout communities to get the inside scoop on the REALLY bad kids.
I really don’t think it’s very funny for adults to make up songs like “Santa Claus is Coming To Town” in order to police their children’s behavior. If Santa really was always watching, the world would be an extremely creepy place, and that’s nothing to joke about. Got that, Santa?
