It Would Be Scary…

In the 1960s, scientists predicted that we’d be living in colonies on the moon by the 90s. Obviously, that didn’t happen. However, at one time, the American public was quite excited about the thought of zipping over to the moon, along our toasters and puppies, and setting up camp among the craters. Everyone still seems to think this would be a great idea except for me.

Stop for a minute to consider the ramifications of living on the moon. First of all, we’d have to go over there in huge rockets that would probably cost a million dollars to board. You’d pay all that money, arrive on the moon after a few light years of traveling, and then realize you forgot your keys, or some other random object. D’oh! You’re screwed.

A lot of people also like to forget that the moon does not have as much gravitational pull as the Earth. That means you’d pretty much have to chase your hot dog through the air in order to eat it for lunch, lest it fly off into space unexpectedly. And less glamorously, when you went to the bathroom, pee would be everywhere. We’d likely be forced to excrete our waste into little plastic baggies. And forget about going outside to take a leisurely walk - you’d be halfway to Jupiter by the time anyone realized you were gone.

Obviously, living on colonies on the moon is not a good idea, at least until we get some pretty bitchin’ technology developed. If we do ever start living on colonies on the moon, please just take a moment to consider how freaky it would be before renting out that 2400 square foot crater. It won’t be as fun as you think.

Image Source