#20…If Public Nudity Was Allowed
Jul 11th, 2008 by sunrisepink
I know I don’t have to go into much detail to explain why this would be scary, but I will anyway, cause what’s more fun than talking about widespread public nudity? This is a possibility I’ve actually bounced around in my head quite a bit, especially in the days when I was young enough to believe it might really happen someday.
There two very obvious, and very terrifying, consequences of the legalization of public nudity (and this is assuming that nudity is legal AND becomes the norm). First of all, you’d have to see your relatives naked. Oh my God, the horror! That is just way too much information about the private parts of people that you have NO INTEREST in learning about.
Second, old people would be walking around naked. Now, it’s very important to be respectful and kind to the elderly, but I think we can all agree that it is a FACT that old people are gross, not a subjective opinion. Small children would likely be quite horrified by the somber truth of what their bodies are destined to become if they were exposed to elderly public nudity. Why would we want to rob them of their innocence and crush their dreams so early on in life?
And that’s not even to mention the health risks we would be exposed to as a result of widespread nakedness. I mean, naked seamstresses? Naked valet services? Naked CHEFS?! It’s too frightening to even consider. Thank goodness public nudity will hopefully never, ever, ever be allowed, or else we’re going to have some serious issues to deal with. And I’ll probably have to move to Canada.
Believe it or not, there’s a thriving naturist (the contemporary buzzword that seems to be preferred to “nudist”) culture in the Great White North.
That said, despite my only-slightly-peccable nudist credentials - I am a member of one of Those Groups, and I am dressed a lot less often than I’m undressed - I don’t have any particular desire to see vast numbers of naked people out in the streets, nor do I want to be one of them.
And now that it’s cooled off outside, I’m going to go sit out in the back yard in my birthday suit.