Vern Troyer was just a very strange little man on a couple of the episodes I happened to catch… regretfully. I remember one such episode that found Vern Troyer rolling around in his electric wheelchair butt naked and drunk as a skunk. He didn’t seem to comprehend what the hell was going on, nor did he care that a camera crew was videotaping all of this. Now besides how creepily small he is, this made him especially creepy and scary to me. Perhaps it makes a little more sense now however that Vern Troyer did not seem to mind being naked on camera since just a month or two ago, rumors of a Vern Troyer sex tape were abound. Scary anyone? There was even a clip from it floating around of him swapping spit with his partner that could give any sane man nightmares. For your own good, don’t look for it.

But it appears that showing the world his scary self is just what Very Troyer was meant to do. Just a couple of days ago, it was announced that Very Troyer would have his own reality show that has already begun taping. What horrors will Vern have in store for America next? Personally, I think I will stick with Little People, Big World. I have a feeling they will provide me with a little more inspiration and entertainment than Vern Troyer ever will.

Fast forward to the present, where Diamond makes the fateful decision to star on the hit VH1 reality show Celebrity Fit Club. This is in the wake of a creepy sex tape scandal, which shocked the nation by demonstrating just how low Diamond would go to be in the spotlight again. Diamond’s appearance on Celebrity Fit Club was just as bad as the sex tape scandal – unnatural, uncomfortable, and just plain weird.

On Celebrity Fit Club, the nation watched in horror as the now-plump Diamond lashed out at his teammates, pissed off the judges, and continually flipped off the camera. As threats of legal action loomed from the Diamond camp, viewers started to become quite scared by the former jokester’s new personality. What the hell happened to this guy? Why is he so vicious and hateful?

I think this whole situation goes to prove that child actors should never be forced into accepting humiliating and career-ending roles. Watching Saved by the Bell was always a slightly uneasy experience, as the audience was forced to witness Diamond degrade himself to the level of cheesy laugh-track humor. Clearly, Diamond has been scarred by his Screech days and is now a very scary, twisted man. I have a strange feeling that we haven’t seen the last of Dustin Diamond.

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As she got older, she got scarier. Crazier hair and makeup, but she did at least continue to release good music. She has been at her scariest as of late however. She just successfully adopted a Malawian boy with a fair amount of controversy. Why Malawian? Good for her for adopting a child, but you have to wonder. Also, she has been linked in a sex scandal with Alex Rodriguez (aka A-Arod) which she denies. Not sure why A-Rod would want that when he could easily get 20-somethings. Maybe he is into the scary type. No doubt she is a little bit crazy in bed.

Well there is not a lot else I can say about Madonna other than just look at her, something about her is just a bit scary.

As if this choice wasn’t scary enough, Montag returned to The Hills on season three with newly inflated breasts, oddly-shaped duck lips, and a strangely stiff new hairstyle. The editorial team at It Would Be Scary also noticed a quickly whittling frame and a much smaller nose to accompany Montag’s other physical “developments.” In 2007 Montag teamed up with the scraggly-faced, unemployed Pratt in an attempt to launch a music career, which consisted of a homemade music video shot on a beach with Pratt’s camera and a techno song with Pratt rapping in the background. Viewers all over America were shocked and appalled by the pitiful and unsuccessful attempt at stardom.

The truly frightening thing about Heidi Montag is that she just won’t go away. You’d think that her portrayal as the villain of The Hills would be enough to scare her away from the entertainment industry, but Montag insists on trying to fight her way into the social stratosphere through ridiculous clothing lines and excessive talk show appearances. Heidi, you are scary, and your white hair really freaks us out, so please just go away.

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She seemed to disappear from the public eye for quite sometime, having quite a few run ins with the law. Do a little bit of research and you will see that this woman has a scary and checkered past. She then appeared as a fighter on the show celebrity boxing. Apparently she was pretty serious about it because she showed up looking like she had some healthy doses of HGH and muscle milk. Her fight was against Paula Jones and I do recall feeling pretty bad for poor Paula Jones. I don’t think she had any idea the beast she was scheduled to fight.

All in all, Tonya Harding just plain looks scary and has done a lot of scary things. She ranks up there pretty high on the list of scary celebs.

I would venture to guess that the whole Scientology thing has changed her quite a bit. I do not know a lot about the idea of Scientology, but from what I hear it seems pretty strange to me. Perhaps Katie Holmes has been somewhat brain-washed by it all. The scariest thing about her though I think is her resemblance to a scarecrow. Please please eat some meat and potatoes and get some meat on you. That goes for all women. Looking like a real life scarecrow is not attractive.

In my book Katie Holmes is definitely a scary celeb. I honestly cannot put my finger on exactly why, other than that there is a strange combination of things that just do not sit well with me. Thus… Katie Holmes is a scary celeb.

Case in point: the constant references to success and money. It seems a bit fishy to me that every time Oprah refers to “success” during her show, it always just means being (or trying to be) wealthy. The Big O seems to view this as the only mode to empowerment in today’s society, possibly because money was the catalyst to her own happiness, which is quite a scary fact in itself. Oprah claims to speak to “underprivileged” people, but she forgets that not everyone can be an overnight success like her, leading to a creepy undercurrent of greediness in all of her shows.

Another source of scariness: her obsession with looks. About 80% of Oprah’s shows are about appearance, and half of those are concerned with some aspect of weight loss, such as nutrition, exercise, or weight loss surgeries. This is highly confusing to me, as Oprah has struggled with her own weight throughout her life, so she should know that beauty and thinness is not a true indicator of happiness, and is thus of no real value.

To put it simply, the scary thing about Oprah is that she claims to be a humanitarian, but is clearly only concerned with promoting her major sponsors’ products and appealing to rich white chicks. And let’s not forget that she has brought upon the world such forces as Dr. Phil, Rachael Ray, and Suze Orman. Need I say more?

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Imagine how Almagro felt while trying to serve a match while at the same time seeing his opponent’s bloodied forehead. Even Youzhny was shocked and embarrassed as well as the trainers who had no choice but to stall the game since blood was dripping on the court.

Not to mention the three reporters who interviewed Youzhny were scared seeing the wound. Instead of asking the appropriate questions for their articles, one of them asked if Youzhny was alright. He also looked scared about what happened and his behavior claiming he has not done anything this violent before.

Sportsmanship is supposed to be the rule for all athletes, even for basketball players who play pretty physically. Seeing something like this happen in tennis is a pretty shocking thing.

What is scary though is if such behavior becomes a rule and not the exemption among young tennis players. It really smacks of immaturity and sportslessness if you can call it that. It’s a bad example to set for kids who were probably watching the game. The scenario gets to be not only scary but bizarre if kids who idolize these tennis players think of the violent act as pretty cool and start hitting themselves in the heads as well. I am not going to lie though, I would laugh a little bit at that. This moment for this player though definitely made him a bit scary.

Some of the most famous movies that Tarantino has directed are Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill and most recently Death Proof and Grindhouse. Some of Tarantino’s most notable acting roles are Reservoir Dogs, From Dusk Till Dawn and a memorable scene in Four Rooms. What do all of these movies have in common? One hint, it’s not puppy dogs and ice cream. ALl of these movies have some sort of gore or mutilation and over half of them are CENTERED on it. Tarantino is without a doubt a scary celebrity. Not in the beating you up sense, but in the demented, “What the hell is going on inside his head” sense. Not that it is a bad thing, I know I and many others enjoy what he does and hope that he never changes.

I will definitely be keeping an eye out for his upcoming World War II epic titled “Inglorious Bastards.” It may just be one of his goriest yet.

The upcoming release of the Sex and the City motion picture brings to my attention why SJP is so scary. Her spindly yet overly-ripped frame constantly leaves me wondering what she is capable of. After witnessing firsthand the power she now wields over Everyone’s Girlfriend and even Some People’s Moms, I know she is a person to be feared.

By insisting on wearing cakey makeup and “stylish” clothing that would only be fit for teenagers, the now-43-year-old woman is a constant reminder of the American fear of aging. It’s not a fear of looking old; it’s a fear of looking desperate to recapture one’s youth. Upon entering the chain store Steve and Barry’s a few months ago, I even stumbled upon SJP’s new clothing line Bitten, which literally consists of baby tees and tank tops. I hope she does not actually wear that stuff in public!

Be afraid people, be very afraid. This woman is becoming a role model for women in their 30′s and 40′s. Do we really want moms looking and acting like this? Whatever happened to the whole ‘aging gracefully’ thing? Scary muscles. Tank tops. Heavy makeup caked on old face. Sarah Jessica Parker: just plain scary.