1. Las Vegas, NV
In 2007, Men’s Health declared Las Vegas to be the fattest city in the U.S. It’s also well-known for the legalization of prostitution around its city limits. Prostitutes + fat = scary.
2. Medford, OR
This is the city with the most suicides per capita in the U.S. Sounds pretty freaky to me! Better stay away from this place.
3. Baltimore, MD
Baltimore is the most rat-infested city in America. I recommend that you keep one eye open while sleeping, or you might end up with a rat’s nest in your hair.
4. El Paso, TX
A recent study done by Hallmark showed that El Paso has the worst sense of humor of any other place in the country. They also have the lowest greeting card sales numbers. I wouldn’t dare crack a joke in this town.
5. Detroit, MI
This place secured the top spot on Forbes’ list of Most Miserable Cities. Don’t move here unless you want to be the victim of violent crimes and high unemployment rates!
6. Hollywood, CA
I’ve heard plenty of stories about the weird celebrity impersonators camped out on the streets in Hollywood. Word has it that they don’t even look like Elvis.
7. New Orleans, LA
Did you know that this place has an entertainer called the Human Dildo? *shudder* No thanks, man!
8. Death Valley, CA
Isn’t this one a little obvious? I mean, why would anyone voluntarily enter a place called the Valley of Death? Freaky.
9. New York City, NY
Aside from having the worst housing in America, this place is easily the most intimidating city in the country. It’s just way too many people crammed into one place. There’s plenty of space in Montana, people!
10. Los Angeles, CA
The city with the largest class stratification in America, complete with plenty of slimy millionaires and tons of boob jobs. Enough said.